First...you are pre-judging others' possible worst-case-scenario reactions to your potential future actions in regards to these issues and are using that as an excuse to possibly do nothing...not acceptable. Essentially, you are mind-reading and basing your actions/non-actions off of a false premise. Evidence of this is in your concern over whether getting help would hurt your re-enlistment chances. If you are a trigger-pull away...you can't re-enlist if you're dead! Medical records are sealed/privileged/etc...Hell, it's major pain to even GET the Army access/accept/adopt VA/outside medical records, even when you WANT them to! Second, get out of your own head. Envision what you would say to a fellow veteran if they said to you what you are saying to yourself...often we, veterans especially, say awful things to ourselves that we would never even consider saying to another person/fellow vet. For example: you are worried about "wasting" the resources of the crisis line...That's what it's there for! If you are unable/unwilling to remove yourself from this situation enough to get some perspective and realize that you are making things worse by over-analyzing/over-thinking your issues, then confide in someone who can help you in a rational way. Third: Good news: you've already done that by consulting friends and posting on Reddit. Go to a Vet Center (not/doesn't work like the regular VA) and start speaking with a Social Worker/Therapist/Psychologist to start sorting all this out, piece-by-piece/issue-by-issue...and 'why'. Fourth: Do you receive VA Comp & Pen (VA Disability)? If not, start that process...your injuries/issues prevent you from not only working, but LIVING "normally"...your local Vet Center can help you start a C&P claim. Fifth: Do NOT give up...no matter what. You are, and will always be a soldier and veteran...you volunteered to do something that LITERALLY 99% of the American population cannot or will not do. Sixth: Acknowledge and understand that the current system sucks, set your expectations accordingly and accept that it will take time to help you properly but there are charitable and State-level organizations to help in the interim/as a stop-gap...not to mention family and friends. Seventh/Lastly: Stop looking/thinking about things through the lens of the military as you were trained. Example: Drill Sgt/Instructor/Sgt. Major/etc. finds one sock/part/block of a form out of place/not filled-in correctly and therefore turns over/destroys/rejects your whole locker/vehicle/packet/etc. It is NOT all or nothing anymore and you are NOT without resources...feel free to message me back if you need support, I'd be glad to provide my number as well.