Been there, one year ago. Was into LTR way above nine years, the same story than yours. All that you can do is, CHANGE YOUR LIFE IMMEDIATELY. For me, it began by jogging my ass off, after that, I joined the local gym, before that, I was the cubby/fat guy behind the tree, now I'm the guy, who is satisfied with his body - 100% self-confident, also girls can confirm that because I have the choice now :-) - so for you, I only give you this one advice, change your life, and your change your faith about a life, where you can be yourself. You don't need people, you must accept you! If you can't, you can change. But you must be clear with yourself because no relationship lasts forever, but you, you must be with yourself, a whole life!