First realise that if you could do it once before, it's possible to do it again. So there's already a bit of relief for you.
Have you outgrown these people?
One morning I woke up and I had had enough of feeling like shit. I was depressed and always felt like a victim. I decided that I would do whatever it takes to become a better person and improve myself and I did. Now two years later I feel a lot better. I still hit rough patches like people do but I am so grateful that I pushed through them, even though at the time I just wanted to give up.
But what I noticed was that as I progressed I started to see my old self in a new light. An ugly one. I could see how bad I really was. How much of my life I was wasting. How I was lying to myself, saying "I'll do it tomorrow" and believing that "things will work out."
I see my old friends doing the same thing and I tried to talk to them but they are back where I used to be, doing the same crap and I can't help them because for them to change they have to want to change.
I can't talk to them like I used to anymore. It doesn't interest me. And I can't hang around them anymore because I will fall into old habits. ("You are the average of the 5 people you're around most.")
We grew apart. I still hope they get their shit together even though it's a challenge, but that's what makes it worth it. The challenge is life. "No one buys an already completed game" Why would you want an already completed life. Embrace the challenge like you would in a game. It can get frustrating but that's just part of the game. The uncertainty is what keeps you on your toes. Knowing it all and having it all would get boring fast.
You say "anything I'd say is either really awkward or too cliché." Maybe it always was, but now you're just more aware of it. And not just you but everyone talks that way. Next time you're in conversation really listen to people speak and the words they use. Pay a little more attention and you will probably smile for no reason because you realise what they are saying sounds so silly. You won't be able to explain to them why you're smiling but at least it make everyone else smile too.
From here lead the conversation into something you are interested in talking about. If you're comfortable it doesn't matter what you say but rather how you say it, and with a goofy smile on your face people will hang on every word you say, and anything you talk about because they will want to know what the hell you're smiling about!
It's really that easy to make someone smile too. You're probably starting to smile now just from these words.
I hope you enjoyed this comment, I hope it has helped you too.
My YouTube channel will be starting soon where I can go a little more in depth on topics like this one you shared. Be sure to check it out.
By Design: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFvHyLyvQOtH7jELp42lbhw