I used to crash diet a lot. I went on pro-ana websites, went through all the abc, sg, rb diets, only to eat back almost everything I lost. Then I decided to diet a little bit "healthier" and restricted high (700-900 kind of "high") with "only"2-3 days of eating 200 calories or fasting. And sure I lost weight. I got to 35kg, I looked great. But I felt horrbile, really weak and exhausted. Then stuff happened, I'm back at 62kg.
So I know a thing or two about all that clinging onto calories. I went lower and lower because I could lose weight faster. But now I can tell you for sure that it wasn't worth it. I know it is faster but slower weight loss is much better. I'm 7kg into now and I feel so energized that it doesn't feel like dieting at all. And you are tall, your tdee is high, you will lose quite quick anyway! Everytime you feel that guilt just say to yourself: it is fine, as long as I'm eating at my budget I'll lose the weight anyway.
As for depression, speaking from experience exercise is a great antidepressant. Find something you like. I for example hate sweating. I don't like moving around so gym is a no for me. So I cycle instead. From the beginning of June I'm doing yoga from youtube and it's been amazing so far. Nutrition also plays a huge role in mental health. I believe majority of depression in today's society is caused by malnutrition, eating too little or too much food, so eating nutritious food will be a good thing to do.
Also, I'm not sure if it will apply to you but I had a depression caused by ptsd. With time, depression became a form of identifying. Like, I'm not like normal people. A personality trait almost. I really took pride in my depression (although I'd never admit) and I didn't want a therapy because I thought healthy lifestyles are stupid and basic. But then after thinking for some time I came to a conclusion that what makes a personality is not whether someone is depressed or healthy but what someone does. Their hobbies for example. And I couldn't commit to any hobby because depression held me back. So to develop a personality I should do something about my depression. With depression I'm just as basic as I can get.
Sorry it came out so long, I'm rambly today. Good luck! We are the same age so feel free to pm me if you need an accountability buddy!