Thank you. I have been reading this subreddit for some time. I am heterosexual and married to a man who I love (for better or worse), but I do not understand the compulsion to jump in with "not my husband!" every time a woman is venting about men. This subreddit, and similar places like it, have helped me put events in my life in context, helped me see where I was not setting enough boundaries, helped me see where the compromises I'm making to survive are, and see that they are compromises, helped me see more clearly that just because I like husband and he is kinder to me than every other man doesn't mean he doesn't benefit from the social structure, doesn't mean he isn't still doing the same things to a greater or lesser extent. This would not have happened if the only way men could be talked about was with great tact and careful wording so not to offend any woman married to a man who might be offended.

This is the first time I have referenced my husband in a comment here.

I have noticed a lot of the stories about how "great" someone's husband is I've read here are about the man showing the bare minimum of human decency or politeness and putting in maybe 20% of the effort into childcare, etc. And we have to fall over ourselves, flattering and complimenting a man who isn't even here? Why is it is hard to accept some women having differing viewpoints, why is empathy for other women so hard?

I covered on something like this in an earlier post I made on this account. Even here, I've seen autistic men given much more leeway and sympathy than autistic women.