Hey thanks for your reply. That's not a problem. :)

We're still at uni so we have a lot of work but during the summer and over Christmas we don't . We're financially secure, see friends often, neither of us have family problems...I can't really think of anything that causes her stress, there might be something but she has never mentioned it. I never ask her to dress up any more, I will mention it but I won't ever put pressure on her - I know it's the worst thing I could do. No I don't need her to dress up or anything like that (I just think it looks incredible), her showing any kind of interest in me can make me aroused because I love being close to her and find her attractive. I don't speak about it too often because I don't want her to feel pressured; when she shows an interest I'll mention it, and sometimes if we're talking about it in genereal I'll drop a hint of something. Well the sleeping with other people thing isn't something I've ever brought up which is why I worry, the only time it's ever been mentioned is when she says she feels as though she isn't making me happy...then she'll say something about other people and how I'd be happier with another person. Saying I thought about sleeping with other people was probably not 100% accurate (I know that's what I said), it's more that I find myself noticing other people - I don't speak about it because I know it can only make things worse. Sorry that wasn't very clear in the OP - I have spoken to her about both problems although I've realised that the sex thing will have to be resolved before the lingerie, I thought the lingerie would be a way to make her feel more confident/comfortable and so make her enjoy sex more. The strange thing is she's never said anything about fetishes etc. despite us discussion them; I did once tie her hands so she couldn't move them below her shoulders. She said she liked that but has never said anything about doing it again. I've tried introducing new things and asking her if there's anything she wants to try but there isn't anything. I always thought it was a lack of confidence that was causing it so I would make a point of trying to make her feel really good about her self, however that doesn't seem to have had much of an impact. No the last three things I bought for her were a handbag (she saw it on the day and I bought it for her), a candle (she had wanted for a while but didn't want to spend £35 for it, so I got it as a surprise one day for when she got back from uni), and perfume (which I brought back from Germany). Well she hasn't ever mentioned any concerns she has even when we're speaking about out sex life etc. In terms of things outside of the bedroom - it's just as it's always been if not we're even more comfortable around each other now and, if anything, I feel as though I love her more than I ever have before - I have said this and she thinks I'm a bit crazy to think that when we have these problems with our sex life.

Sorry for the long message and all of the "I this", "I that"s. And thank you again for reading. :)