Okay, okay, okay - I'm going to try to give you a real, human response so that you might see the message I am attempting to convey. I'll skip the sarcasm, this time.

I have been married nearly six years to a wonderful woman. I completely identify with 'the left' in most things, and I think notions of equality for all are wonderful. It was with those notions that I entered this marriage. My wife felt the same - it wasn't even discussed - we married under the presumption that "anything other than a completely equal marriage is unhealthy".

Six years later, we are on the verge of divorce. We have warred over equality - her demanding it, and me struggling to give it to her. I was never her enemy on her being equal - I was also struggling to make her equal. I was horrified that she felt things were unequal during our marriage - especially at the beginning. I have made concession after concession, all in the soul searching quest to make my wife feel like equality has been established. Equality is something I have really struggled to provide to my wife.

But it has never, ever worked. Not with our personalities. When my wife feels she is unequal - she attacks, and she attacks horribly. She is exceedingly cruel and will push my buttons until I am bleeding from my eyes. She does this in order to try to tear me down and make things 'equal'.

I am decided to stop swimming upstream. I feel like it is the only way to save my marriage. My wife and I are separated, but we are having deep and extensive conversations about giving this dynamic - a permissible domination/submission relationship (permissible meaning - her vocal consent (without duress) is *required to make it work).

If we do it, I am going to treat her with love and respect - but I will lead. As such, the hierarchy is finally established. There will be no further need for conflict. The battle will be over.

I realize your initial response was rooted perhaps in your own negative situations; but please understand that marriage between two people is exceedingly correct, and things are not always the same between couple to couple. For us, we think this might work - and both are entering it willingly and with love and respect.

I hope you read this with some clarity and I'm able to convey what I meant. I apologize if I was overly flippant with my own initial response - but I just want you to understand, this meme was not created trivially, nor was it intended to support abusive relationships. Anyone who is in an abusive relationship (dominant or not) needs to demand immediate change or get out of it.

Regards,

--Captain Maxwell W. Weiner