Thank you. I'm the same way. I've come to realize that okcupid is just for hookups. Every girl I met from there says the same thing, "I'm looking for a relationship, I'm not here for hook ups, I'm not interested in sex right away, let's take things slow," blah blah blah. I talk to them some more and then I get a stranger who talks about nothing but sex and wants to share nude pics then talk about sex some more then get angry at me when I don't have sex with them. Okcupid is for sex with easy girls. I only met one person on here who was respectable enough to make me wait.
This will get a major downvote party going on reddit (because, you know, it's a different opinion outside the hivemind circlejerk and people here hate that). I think there's a lot to say about a girl who sleeps with someone on the first date, and none of those things are good things. I've met girls at parties who were ready for sex half an hour after we met. I don't touch those girls. No self respect for themselves. They know they're not special enough to make someone wait a few weeks so they slut themselves out to whoever's horny and available. Also, talk about cheating. If she's ready to go home and take it from a guy she met 2 hours before, what do you think will happen if your relationship hits a low and she goes out for the night?
It's the crowd of girls I talk to and meet around here. I just don't fit in. Both online and offline dating usually have the same sequence of events. At most, I kiss someone on the first date (maybe make out with them if I really like them), and 90% of girls I go out with just aren't cool about that (90% of the ones where there's chemistry I mean, not just the mediocre dates). They almost always swing the topic over to sex and wonder why I'm not trying to have sex with them. I don't know them, I don't care for them. I'm not going to be intimate with them. I have such high pressure all the time to hook up with as many girls as possible from my guy friends, and now I have more of that pressure every time I try to date. It's something I almost have to force myself to accept and do.
I feel like I HAVE to initiate sex or talk about sex or be sexual or sex this or sex that RIGHT AWAY with a girl I don't even have interest in yet otherwise she'll just run away and find someone who will give her sex faster. It sucks. I've been single for the vast majority of my prime dating age because I just can't find someone who's patient enough to at least wait just a few weeks before being ready for sex. I've found only a very small amount of girls in this country that held out, and I dated a couple. It was easier as a teen because a lot of girls weren't sexually active. But now, in my mid 20s, everyone expects sex right away right now. I don't want to, but it's almost as though I have to otherwise my friends and my date become disappointed. As a result, I almost stopped dating entirely for a while. It's when I explicitly say, "I'm not going to hook up with you on our first date. Let's start as friends first" and the date goes really well with good chemistry and then the girl just disappears after realizing that I wasn't just being coy with taking things slow. No girl I met on okcupid has ever accepted just joining my friends and I for something as a new friend, which IMO, is the best way to date. They NEED a 1 on 1, and they EXPECT me to get physical with them. I just want to see if I like them as friends first. It's so hard finding girls in this country who also accept that. There's no need to become romantic right away. We JUST met.
After my last relationship, I've held conversations and traded phone numbers / skype with over 30 girls I met on okcupid. None of which I asked out in person because (well, 1, I don't want to just ask someone out simply because they're a girl, I want to actually be excited for my dates and see them as friends first) and 2, they would all agree that we're both looking for something more than a random fling and then a few hours later she's bringing up guys she's had sex with and how she likes her oral. It's so frustrating. I only log onto okcupid now for conversations. I don't plan on asking any girl I talk to on there out because I know it'll just be more of the same. My friends and I all drink and party often, and every girl I talk to there is even faster to sleep with strangers. I've spent the last few months coming to terms that in order to have a successful and organic relationship (that is, one built off of friendship and personality chemistry rather than just sex), I'll have to find a new set of friends and a new set of hobbies. Typically, the girls who drink a lot tend to slut themselves around the most. Every girl I've dated wasn't a drinker. So I'm basically torn between friends and dating because the two rarely mix. I'm worried that I may end up alone or with someone I settle for. I'm even starting to think of moving back home. Americans and I just don't get along, and I dislike living in a country where morals, family values, and tradition are thrown in the garbage so consistently.
TLDR: This turned into a big vent, and I can already picture some of the unsympathetic replies and downvotes attacking me. Reddit slams different opinions and cultures to the ground all the time. So if you have nothing nice to say, could you just do reddit a favor and accept that someone sees things differently than the majority? Could you accept that some lifestyle choices you have are ones I look down upon and just leave it at that, and understand that not everyone is the same? Can reddit do that? Thanks.