3. People who married someone who's the opposite of you in significant ways (person...

People who married someone who's the opposite of you in significant ways (personality, political and religious beliefs, morals/values, et cetera) - What have been the most challenging, and most rewarding, aspects? [xpost to /askmen]

Well, it turns out that I married a Nice Guy and I’m a feminist. It took me quite a few years to come to this conclusion. It’s difficult to say the least.

But years of him pouting when I wasn’t interested in having sex, or him giving me the silent treatment for days because I firmly told him that shark week does not equal blow job/hand job week. Or of him constantly mauling me. Or demanding that I go to him to be mauled when I’m obviously in the middle of doing something. Or when I ask him what it is that he loves about me, he will reply ‘your ass’ or your boobs’...nothing about me being loyal or committed or my sense of humor. Nope, it’s all about me being an object.

I’ve tried to get him to see my point of view. But as expected, my POV is dismissed. I don’t know how to convince him to see that there is more to me than his ‘wife’ or ‘mother to the children’ or bedroom partner’. I have no idea what to do. My opinions are dismissed. If I say something, he will puh puh it. But if one of his buddies says the exact same thing, he’ll take that as gospel.

The feminist in me wants to check out, and I guess I have been for the past couple of years. He has as well. It’s been a rough go.

We had a talk, and I told him that I don’t think he likes me or respects me. He dismissed my feelings. That was 6 weeks ago? More recently, I asked him what it was about me that he liked; he gave the usual boobs, butt, etc answer. That just confirmed the conversation we had 6 weeks ago.

I’m at a loss. He doesn’t want to go to MC, but I do. I think I’ll just make the appointment. Things haven’t really gotten better, our communication still sucks. I like to get it all out and he likes to bury everything, pretend it will go away if he ignores it.

What worries me the most is our 2 daughters. I don’t want them to marry someone who sees them as nothing but something to have sex with, a maid or is a social prop. And our kids are smart, they are picking up on this.

There are more opposites (DH= Baptist, me=pagan) but this is the cliff we need to scale.

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