I am sorry about your SO. I just wanted to mention this, specifically, is why I started to become proactive about my own health. After enough bad care and wasted money I decided it was critical for me to understand my body at a cellular level - and honestly I am glad I poured through journals, and textbooks, because in the long run I was I able to turn my health around.
It was not easy, but it was worth it. Medical cannabis went a long way to helping me physically heal (tests showed this it's not just anecdotal) - and I could tolerate the pain without getting knocked out by prescription pain killers. I started to study myself.
For about... 10 years people told me I was mental, and I needed to see a psychiatrist so I did. I took pills for years - some even off-label such as seizure medication when I have no seizure disorder (gabapentin 900mg with 3mg of klon). Really, the psychiatrist only made things worse because he wanted to keep me so drugged my anxiety was absent and I would stfu and stop bugging doctors. I was a zombie!
I pushed on and moved to a new state. With the same evidence I asked new doctors to help and finally... I found a doctor who was willing to take a leap. He was able to trust that I was not mental, and he actually put me through testing to confirm what labs and other tests only suggested. Down the road when I got real diagnosis of actual disease it was so vindicating. It wasn't in my head, damnit!! Ironically... I was the one who diagnosed myself with many of the problems I have such as Meniere's - which they incorrectly diagnosed as "neurocardiogenic syncope". Before this, my health was so bad I was on respite care provided by the army. As a side note, if they did not find my conclusive diagnosis I'd probably be dead today. It was a serious disorder with many complications that stretch across my full body.
I hope this gives you both some hope? And maybe a few inspirations. John Hopkins knew something was wrong, but not what, and when I transferred to Kansas they pretty much said FU and ignored me medically. It was in Washington state I finally found the best doctors, and I hear many people say this locally. Move to us. We have weed, we have the beach, and we have good doctors (if you can stand the 8 month wait to get in with one as a new patient).