3. Please tell me Alberta isn't the only province to generate provincial candidate ...

Please tell me Alberta isn't the only province to generate provincial candidate fuckwits like this. This ad ran in Metro this week.

  • Physician, University of Toronto, Class of '88
  • Elected Chief Intern, Doctors Hospital, 1989
  • Delivered a record 95 babies during 1 year internship
  • Captain, Canadian Armed Forces, Honourably Discharged, 1992
  • Canada's #1 Medical Fraud & Malpractice Investigator Since 1994
  • World's #1 Seduction Guru & Male Confidence Builder Since 2005
  • Advertising & Marketing Consultant Extraordinaire
  • Ontario's #1 Trainer of Sales Consultants, with Specialization in Mortgage & Real Estate Agents
  • Small Business Start-Up Consultant
  • Writer, Poet, Ethicist, Philosopher & Heretic
  • Religious & Spiritual Leader
  • Raceologist & Phrenologist
  • Revisionist Historian & Apologist with Special Interest in World Religions, Hitler & The Nazis, Marxist Crimes Against Humanity, Government Conspiracies
  • Anti-Feminist & Anti-Metrosexual Agitator
  • Anti-Marxist Crusader
  • Christian, Pro-Life & Family Values Advocate (Go Jesus!)
  • Christian Libertarian Theorist & Advocate
  • Jewellery & Fashion Designer
  • Consistent Scorer of >60% Right-Brain Dominance
  • Clairvoyant & Faith Healer
  • Gourmet Chef & Nutritional Consultant
  • Former Online Restaurant Critic
  • Proudly Served on High School Chess Team (2nd boarder)
  • Proudly Served on High School Typing Team (128 words per minute, #2 in city; I would have been #1 but I lost to broad on electric typewriter after inept typing teacher misinformed me that we had to use manual typewriters)
  • Legal Consultant Specializing in Sexual Assault & Harassment, Highway Traffic Act, Charter Motions, Poison Pen Legal Letters, etc.
  • Amateur Chiropractor, Accountant, Dental Hygienist, Massage Therapist, Psychotherapist, etc.
  • Expert At Shaming People Into Doing the Right Thing
  • Professional Shrew Tamer & Spanking Administrator
  • Proud Owner of a Beautiful, Svelte REAL CANADIAN (Irish-Scottish-French-Aboriginal) Wife
  • Shih-Tzu Enthusiast & Precision Belly Rubber
  • Generous With His Money But Stingy With Everyone Else's
  • Most Brutally Honest Person on the Planet
  • Never Touches A Drop Of Alcohol (ethanol increases estrogen levels in men, thereby feminizing them, and making them useless in bed)
  • Pot Legalization Advocate & Occasional Strain Tester
  • Grower of Hair That Puts Yanni to Shame
  • The Only Major Candidate that is "Lawsuit-Proof" by having No Assets in His Name, Preventing Corrupt Elements From Silencing Him Through Extortion, Blackmail or Manipulation by way of Employing the Threat of Litigation for Slander or Libel
  • The Only Major Candidate that is "Blackmail/Extortion-Proof" Because All His Skeletons are Strewn Across the Internet (90% of which are total lies, but discourage blackmailers and extortionists)

Well that's one hell of a resume. This guy is definitely a tad unhinged.

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