The US is still much safer to live in than Europe.

Not according to the data. Certainly not according to the violent crime statistics. In other words, not according to reality. But everyone is free to choose whether or not to engage with reality, and you seem to have made your choice.

I like having health care

As do I. I love it. I do sometimes feel sorry for the Americans who come to the Netherlands and experience our health care system. They're always so blown away by how "great" it is in their eyes, which is a sad indictment of American healthcare. I don't think ours is even that good compared to some other European countries.

and not having to pay a TV license for my mandated propaganda

Yup, thank god I don't have to do that. The Brits are a bit of a weird bunch.

Not to mention Europe still hasn't figured out guns

No, we've got them pretty much figured out. You pull the trigger, a bullet comes out. It's not that complicated.

and thinks that because criminals can't shoot them they're somehow safe

I've never met a single European who thinks this moronically.