30 soon. It doesn't get easier. No time to give up. Whatever the psychiatrist said you are. it's like an astrologer telling you you are Capricorn. It's not accurate and it's a narrowed view that theorises people into types to define them and determine things that can't be proven or disproven. At least astrologers don't give you meds. From reading I can tell you care about life having meaning, having a connection, love, trust, joy.. you been through very hard experiences, some of them I also been through and I could relate. your heart hurts you may be numb so you don't collapse under pain but you still care. You are young and your father is independent you can leave his home and your trauma behind and live the way you believe in. Surround yourself with people you trust always be honest with yourself always listen to your conscience. Believe in yourself