I'm going to go against the grain here and talk about what we called "The Organism."

So, as brilliant young freshmen, my roommate and I decided to buy like 4 handles (plastic of course) of literally the shittiest vodka you could buy. Honestly, they should have paid us to take that poison off of their hands. Just fucking nasty. Nothing could mask the pain of the jet fuel. Orange juice? Ha, try again. Cranberry juice? Go fuck yourself. Copious amounts of Gatorade powder? What is this, amateur hour?

Anyways I had a pretty dope Brita filter because the tap water wasn't good enough for me (but somehow Natty Light and cheap vodka were....). So what do we do as budding engineers? We run the rat poison vodka through this Brita filter like 10 times. Eventually the booze starts burning through the filter, we're finding bits of carbon in the vodka after runs 8 & 9.

Plus the filtering didn't do shit. So what do we do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We put the filter on top of the dresser and forgot about it.

Fast forward 1.5 semesters and its time for a spring cleaning of the dorm. Old beer cans, used tissues cough cough, etc etc. Then we find the filter. God I wish we hadn't.

There was a massive...green creature growing through this thing. Was it a deadly new strain of mold or was it some alien creature sent to destroy any chances of bringing girls back? The answer is yes. The Organism was the talk of the town. Rumors of a secret growing operation swept through our halls. In a way, they were right.

So we skipped calling the CDC to avoid quarantine and just threw the damn thing out in the shared bathroom trash can. That poor janitor deserves a raise.

Wherever it ended up, I hope it's happy. Live on Organism. Live on