Probably a year or so into us living together.

My wife (girlfriend at that point) liked to just "go with the flow" in the sense that she didn't like making plans and just kind of went with how she was feeling.

It got to the point that she was becoming increasingly unreliable and disrespectful in the sense that I would offer to pick her up when she was drinking at a friends, only to wait hours for a response from her after an agreed upon "latest time" and then still have to wait outside for 20 - 30+ minutes while she pissed around saying goodbye at 3 in the morning.

She would just have none of it when I would get mad and just pout or give me the silent treatment and finally one day I just lost it and yelled that she clearly doesn't give a fuck about me. She doesn't deal well with yelling, so she said she was going to her mom's and I said "if you go there instead of dealing with this, don't come back."

For the first time, we actually had the ability to talk it out and it was never an issue again. 6 years later, we've never had another fight that big because we know that we can actually talk to each other with respect and come to a solution as partners instead of worrying about "who won".