I was the first-born. I was lucky enough to be blessed with OCD, ADHD, Tourette's, clinical depression and a host of other things growing up. I was under an iron thumb with strict curfews, Mum and Dad wanted to know where I was all the time. I wasn't even allowed to watch Ninja Turtles as a kid because it was too violent. Despite all that I ended up getting through a full-time university load while working 30 hours a week, earning my degree, and working full-time for the last ten years.

My brother came along when I was 9 and also had ADHD, Tourette's and OCD. Unlike me he's had an infinite free pass to keep living at home, sit around playing video games and stuffing his face corn chips all day while being an absolute cunt and slowly killing my parents with emotional abuse. Never had a job.

Me on the other hand, every time Mum or Dad rings they always want something.

Some of us have to white-knuckle our way through day after day of crippling misery while controlling our blinking and writing tax software, but that's OK. Someone's got to look after themselves. The brother's got video games to play.