"Huh," said Mueller on hearing of the disinformation campaign. He smiled, shook his head almost imperceptibly, and closed his briefcase. It could wait until morning. He pitied those who believed these stories, but was gratified with the thought that he was making their world a better place by bringing their deceivers to justice. Every American deserved to hear the truth, even those who'd refuse to believe it.

His thoughts then turned to better things. His wife was making a rack of lamb. What a look she'd have when he surprised her with that Hawaiian vacation next fall! He hoped his grandkids wouldn't mind missing a week of school while building their Waikiki sand castles.

Did the Russians who wrote those absurd stories about him ever have thoughts as purely pleasant as this?

No. Surely not.

And Robert Swan Mueller III pitied them, too.