I attempted in high school and almost succeeded. At that point I was hopeless. I was around my abuser most of the day (he had stopped abusing me sexually when I turned of age but was scary when drunk and abusive verbally/physically to our mom&grandmother). My mom had transverse myelitis and so I was her care giver. I sacrificed a social life to sit at home with her and make sure she was OK (and to protect her from my brother). I was losing chunks of time, "coming to" at the other side of town without knowing how I got there, finding knives underneath the couch I slept on I didn't remember putting there, and self harming constantly.

I still struggle with suicide sometimes because of what I've gone through. I was close to doing it a couple months ago and I sobbed into my cats fur apologizing for leaving her. I remember her following me to the door and I broke down again and stayed. No one except my therapist and best friend know details so when I'm suicidal or depressed my family give me the "but look where you are now! You can do x, y, X etc.." They don't know what it's like living with flashbacks, body memories, DID. I went through hell and it stole my life from me until age 23. I'm still picking up pieces.