OH HLL YEAH, i have been waiting this moment to be able to tell about this.
This is going to be an more watered-down simplified story, without the sad or deeper parts, but still long:
Reason: so, i have figured out by myself that the reason i got bullied, and still get treated a bit different as an adult by "normal" people, is cause they notice subconsciously (i think) that i have ADD. Somehow it just rubs guys mainly the wrong way that i feel different or am not like an regular pack "animal". I have never followed any clothing brands, styles, or hobbies other guys have, just done my own thing which i have been interested in, ignoring others opinions.
But now to the story: Ever since i moved from farmland to city, i noticed instant difference in people. They were less open, more self-centered, less talkative, easily annoyed, pack mentality kids.
So naturally they hated me for being such an open cheerful country-side outgoing different kid. They mocked my accent, the clothes i wore (not specific brand clothes), and probably picked up on my ADD, which i didnt know i had at this point.
Couple years forward: i have definitely changed by the city now, im more of a silent loner, filled with anger, and frustration from not fitting in any group, bullied in different classes by different guy groups. mostly hated everyone in my own class. But mainly the main bully, lets call him clown. Cause that was exactly the act he put on usually, making jokes and fun of others and trying to make other guys (his "friends") laugh while he was being an total dick towards guys who didnt react or fight back to his bad demeanor or mocking. Other times he would joke around during class, just being damn annoying which only seemed to bother me, and some of the class girls somehow, other boys were just laughing at this clowns daily shows. Weekly he made my schooldays rough and almost unbearable. I had tried to get help to it by being smart, through adults and without adults, tried every option available except violence to get him to stop, for 2.5 years, but all for nothing.
Now a quick backstory about me: (skip this if u dont care why i dont prefer violence) i had a rough childhood, parents break up, dad marries another woman, ignores me mostly since my 2 new step-brothers have had no dad, so they behave like little-devils and rebels every day and take all my dads focus and energy, i fought with the older one physically almost daily, and beared both of their verbal abuse, these step-brother experiences though, taught me some very strong self-control and a way to bottle up my emotions or anger, and skill to try to find ways to solve problems without using violence, until i released it all in a last big big fight against the older brother, but the lunatic literally laughed while i beat his face.
I couldnt release the anger this way in school though, or atleast i felt like i wouldnt help, so i started taking martial arts classes, that helped, but EVERY time, i was at the MA-classes, i thought about my main bully and his friends. I was preparing, slowly but steadily, training my body, at peak i was able to do about 400-500 sit-ups/per evening, no breaks. I was only 15, but i was ready to face C.
The event: We had an gym (floorball) class for the end of a day, i have always enjoyed sports, so i was playing with passion, until i tripped over an short floorball fence, sprained my shoulder. So i had to go to the resting bench, ofc Clown noticed, and was clearly (verbally) annoyed that i was allowed to rest on the side with the teacher. So... Through school-nurse visit i was able to leave home instantly to heal my shoulder, it was painful the whole day.
Next morning comes... my shoulder does not feel sore, but when i touch it it stings, so i go sit down on the hallway waiting for the first class to start. Clown walks straight to me, loudly saying "WHATS UP PUSSY? GOT A FREE PASS TO GO HOME BY ACTING YESTERDAY? YOURE NOT HURT AT ALL BI**H" and PUNCHES my shoulder.
The pain i felt kicked in an instant self-defense bottled up anger reaction, (even now remembering and typing this, i feel my heart-rate go up.) I unleashed the hardest punch i could throw, which knocked clowns head back, he was totally stunned. And another one, which made him fall to his ass.
Everyone was completely silent, it was like from a movie scene, i was waiting for his friends to jump me then and there, i felt ready. Instead what happened, was that C. Looked like he was about to cry, he moved to sit next to the wall, and put his head between his arms, clearly to cry. Then 2 of his friends walk up to me, and start praising me??? "GOOD JOB DUDE!" "HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY HONESTLY". "C. HAS BEEN A TOTAL DICK TO U FOR SO LONG". "UR THE MAN".
Im was so... Confused, mixed feelings of aggression, sadness towards C. and pride. I was expecting a full on fight with all 3 of them, yet this is how it went. His "friends" just completely turned on him, and praised me for showing violence? Suddenly they talked to me like i was one of them, i honestly hated, and loved this moment and day.
Hated because it made me realize how fked up guys social structure is, that the ones who are either dicks, violent, or tough looking. Are the ones who get respect. Why are "NPC" men like this?