[Serious] Sociopaths of reddit, what made you realise that you are one? did you try to change anything?

I've never been diagnosed, so dismiss this if you like. There's zero reason to get diagnosed. It's not like there's appealing treatment and there's nothing about myself that I would want to change.

But just to clarify, I'm not sadistic and I don't get off by kicking puppies. And I have feelings. I can just kind of... shut them down if I don't want to feel them. And who wants to feel negative emotions? I also tend to be much more even keeled than normal people -- my feelings aren't as deep and they're more fleeting. I'm happy about the thought of something good happening, I guess, but I don't really excited. I think I used to be excited as a kid/young teenage, but I'm not sure if it was genuine or if I was just acting excited. And there are some feelings I've never had or don't have often. I've never been in love (but I do love two or three people, I'm pretty sure). I can remember being embarrassed as a kid; once when I was made to stand up in second grade because I wasn't sure if the plural possessive of woman was "women's" or "womens'". But I don't think I can't remember being since middle school. I wouldn't hurt anyone for the pleasure of hurting them, but I wouldn't hesitate to hurt someone to get something I wanted. Like, I wouldn't bat an eye at telling a lie about someone to ensure I got a job or promotion ahead of them.

Which brings me to the very-not-cool aspects. I don't make a ton of money; my sister supports me to a large extent -- I rent my sister's house in a beautiful neighborhood when what I could afford is a kind of shitty apartment with a roommate. She buys my groceries. I pay my own bills and give her a few hundred a month. I get bored with projects easily, even projects that I was excited to start. I've had a lot of different jobs and I've studied a lot of different things. My job right now is 100% flexible, zero obligation or responsibility. I've been doing it for a year, and that's the longest I've ever had a job. But I've never been unemployed for more than a week either. I'm fairly smart, good at what I do, and I'm great at interviews.

I've never gone on more than a few dates with someone. I lose interest. My most stable 'romantic' relationships are firmly in the friends with benefits category. I'm perfectly fine on my own. I don't have an overwhelming desire to find someone and settle down. I really dislike children and would not want them. I do not have a maternal instinct. At all.

Uh, what else is there? I did start fires as I kid. I did steal frequently until I was an adult. I've never been arrested. I've never fought anyone physically. I casually used drugs in college, but I majored in art so that was pretty par for the course. I'm not an addict or an alcoholic. I can't charm the pants off of everyone; most people like me, but there have been a few people who have strongly disliked me from the moment we met. I can't manipulate anyone to do anything I want; I'm not a hypnotist. But I am very good at reading people and manipulating them for my own gain. I was very manipulative as a child, too.

Oh! I got screened as part of psych study I did in college. I got $20 and a ridiculously high LSRP score. Not diagnostic, but I fit the criteria pretty well and have a lot in common, thought wise, with people who have been diagnosed. Where I differ, generally, is violence. I'm not a violent person. I don't have uncontrollable anger. I'm more able to keep the impulsive/risk-taking behavior in check.

/r/AskReddit Thread