I've been my boyfriend's fulltime caretaker (more or less) since his accident a little over a year ago. I don't really know anyone who wouldn't do that for the person they love though, so I guess I'm probably not all that great...but it's been so fucking hard, and I've sacrificed a lot to make sure that he made it out of this a stronger person.
He lost his eye and suffered plenty of other facial damage as a welder using a chain binder. A year and one month later and he still hasn't been released back to work. Obviously, he doesn't look the way he did the first two years of our relationship. Initially he was worried that I was going to leave him, not love him anymore because he was "ugly." When he finally woke up and found out what had happened to him, he (rightfully) freaked out. Bad. The look on his face when I walked into the room and he realized I wasn't going anywhere was literally the most heartbreaking and equally heartwarming thing I've ever experienced. I literally don't see him any different when I look at him. He is the same person I fell in love with, through and through.
The worst part of the whole thing has been dealing with his PTSD from the accident, and definitely his depression. I can't even tell you how hard it is to be on this end of a PTSD meltdown or seeing the person you love and care about most on the verge of committing suicide. He's a changed person- he was only 19 years old when this happened him. His brain wasn't even dome developing, he wasn't really even adult yet. He was just a boy, but over the past year I've helped him through every single day to become a man. I love him about a thousand times more today than I did a year ago.
I feel stupid because I didn't really explain why I deserve real life gold very well. Maybe in doing so I proved a point- what happened to him and what he went through overshadowed everything I had planned for myself during my very first years of adulthood. What happened to him changed me so much, I don't even know what the fuck I want to do with my life anymore! I guess I sort of lost myself in order to help him find himself. I see myself in a completely different place than I did a year ago. The one thing that hasn't changed is that I see him by my side no matter where I go.
I'm just really proud that I stuck with him through all of this undeserved bullshit. Every day I'm happy that I made the decision to put my life on hold for him because that's what he needed and deserved. I honestly believe that if he did not have me, he wouldn't be here. He would tell you the same. I'm not good at talking myself up at all obviously, but I do think I'm a pretty good girlfriend.