I can't say for sure which was the lowest point, but the one that haunts me the most... 19 years old, living in a house with no electricity, no running water, completely broke. It was the middle of winter and so cold that I could see my breath in my house. The pitch black and complete silence in the middle of the night was maddening. Too cold and hungry to sleep, so I wrapped up in a blanket with my dog and spent hours holding my hands out to a single candle. I remember taking apart a hemp necklace I had and trying to use it as a wick to create a new candle out of the slowly melting wax. It didn't work, but at the time it was the only thing I had to distract myself from going crazy. I had a fish aquarium at the time and I bawled as I watched my fish freeze to death. I held my hands against the glass where they were, hoping I could somehow use my body heat to save them. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but at the time I was in a very traumatized state of mind I guess.