Very often the maternal instinct is to protect the child. Very often such men thrive on violence and aggression towards their partner more than the child. The child is used to control you even after the separation and legal proceedings. The child often ends up being a victim of the situation, with the mother going "how can I abandon my kid" and the father going " that kid is mine too and I've a right to it". What everyone in this situation should do is decide what's best for themselves and then what's best for a child. Only if you save yourself are in you in a position to keep a child healthy and safe. If your mental health is wrecked by years and years of control and emotional abuse, there's no way that the kid isn't gonna grow up unhurt. Think if an airplane when the safety instructions are to put on a mask for yourself first and then your kid. I know this is an unpopular opinion and that the popular common opinion is for both parents to take part and cooperate in towards the child's better future. A lot of the times that's just not true. It is true only in a few of those cases. More often than not the weaker of the 2 parents suffers from emotional abuse from the other parent even after the divorce. Always think rationally for yours and everyone else's sake. Good luck.