No, sweetie, you are not being a jerk at all. Sorry but because the back history it really seems that he doesn't respect you and don't care, he wants to talk shit to other women. You have to make your words value, you said if he did that again you were done, he is doing that so you know what you have to do. He is acting like he doesn't care if you leave him and you have to show that you mean it and that you are not stupid. And don't sorry him if he ask, that is done, you alread gived him a lot of chances, he didn't change at the first time, he won't now. I know it is going to be hard because you want this to work with him but I'm sure you don't want that way, with him lying to you. Unless you accept he being with other girls too but what do you want more? Be with him no matter what or find another person that wants the same as you and treat you like you wish you were treated?