No I do meet them publicly. Ok, so first date, we met at a beer garden and spent 3 hours there talking. By the time we got out the subway wasn't running and I would have had to grab a cab, but the guy had a car and offered to drive me home. I accepted, knowing it could lead to a random hookup. It did, he went into my apartment and asked about the cost and then was kind of put off for the rest of the night. Its ok though, because he is a creep who I have since blocked.

Second guy, we have our first date at a public location (we got tacos and saw It), and we each uber home seperately. Then for the second date, he asked what was cool in my part of the city, we met at a bar 10 minutes away from my house and eventually went to a bar a block from my house. Again, I knew what this was leading to. We go back to my apartment, hook up but don't have sex, watch a bunch of tv, and then he leaves.

I know that I'm inviting guys over earlier than I'd like, but I don't know how to say no without insulting them or making them not like me. I also am down for random hookups, and feel able to take care of myself (I'm 6' and not particularly dainty). But I do kind of wish I knew how to say no to coming to my place, and, absent that, would like to have a way to explain my apartment without getting into the thing with my ex.

I'm sorry I'm not making any sense. So the full apartment story is that I am going to law school in [city], and I was living about 90 minutes outside [city] with my ex and was planning on commuting. But over the summer his depression got worse and worse until he was constantly drunk, owed me hundreds in back utilities, and would ruin my stuff if he got mad enough. Then one night, after we had argued, he took my big chef's knife and IDK if he meant to hurt himself or was trying to cook, but he came upstairs with a big slice of his palm missing and wouldn't talk to me about it and slept in the guestroom. When I came downstairs in the morning, I discovered the knife sticking point down into my cutting board with blood spattered all over the counters and floors.

This made me realize what a batshit crazy life I was living, and I told my parents about the knife thing. They kind of freaked out, and my mom found me a new apartment that I signed the lease on within a week that is blocks from my school.

I didn't have the money to move, partially because of my debt, so my parents, in order to get me out before I changed my mind, worked out a way for me to get the extra money by using my brother's old college fund and having me take out the max amount of student loans.

So I basically in August went from paying $700/month of my own money for a house far from school with crazy ex to paying $1800/month for a place of my own very close to school by myself. The difference in location is the main cause of the price difference, but I do find it very convenient to live so close to school.

Anyways, I think guys kind of get a mall rat feel from my style, and then when they come back to my apartment it makes them think I have money. I don't have money, I may someday, but I don't now. And that makes me uncomfortable because in the past I've had friends think I have money, and they either drive me into debt (because I am generous and impulsive, and if someone really wants/needs something, I will not hesitate to go into credit card debt for them) assuming that I have a trust fund somewhere that I can just tap into, or it changes their view of me and they act differently towards me.

I know thats way too much information but I hope it makes sense now? And yes I am a pushover; I've been in therapy for it for years and believe it or not have made vast strides. I just still have a long way to go.