Living in the woods doesn’t sound so bad if that’s your thing and you know how to sustain yourself there.

It really sounds like you want to do some kind of skill that’s stereotypically male. Why not look into that? Tell your mum, I’m sure she would love to hear that you have an interest in bettering yourself like that, and maybe she could support you with it. Figure out the areas you think you could be capable at then figure out how to learn/gain experience in it. Maybe there are courses you can do, or apprenticeships, maybe even somebody local will take you on and show the ropes. It’s not just going to be a shoe in, you’ll have to really do your research and reach out to people and places for information/contacts. It will take effort, but you could be rewarded with a skilled job you actually enjoy. Afaik you don’t always need school qualifications for some of this stuff. Eg If you gained the diy experience you can self employ as a handyman over here. If you need those qualifications then going back to get them is an option (I’m uk I don’t know how it works over there but here you can go to a local college to get your necessary gcse’s)

I don’t think your tallness is making you scary. Women love tall guys. I dated a 6’5 guy once. He was the nicest, kindest person ever. Maybe how you feel inside is coming across on the outside and this is what intimidates others. Are you nice, friendly, smile, easy going, nice tone of voice? These things are hard to do when you’re feeling so low, so it wouldn’t surprise me if you don’t sound too cheerful. That’s not your fault. You sound like you have low self esteem, I can relate. Young people are just designed to be cruel and hypocritical of each other. It’s the worst time. Most people grow out of this. But just because somebody says something to you, doesn’t make it true. They just want you to feel bad about yourself. Aside from that, your 18 and you’re still going to change a lot over the next coming years.

Masculinity is not a bad thing at all, don’t get caught up in the current wave of extreme views. Women like masculine men, the thing they don’t like is men who are abusive, or who treat them as inferior beings or sex objects. Thats fair isn’t it? Women are judged on their looks more than anybody else. Usually when a guy says he can’t a girl what he means is he can’t the hottest girls that he thinks he deserves. That’s a topic for another forum but there’s so many other females who could be a great match for you. I think some talking therapy would really help you figure all these thoughts out that you have going on. You sound overwhelmed. It will allow your mind to relax a little, then you can focus on setting your career up. You’re only 18, if you give up now what chance do you have making something of yourself, or finding love with the right woman? If your sole purpose in life is just to sleep with females though, then you have a problem. I don’t think it is though - I think you’d like to make something of yourself and have a real relationship. You can. Work on setting some goals for yourself, and you may find someone to share your small successes with along the way. It’s not all going to happen straight away, it’s going to take time. You have to be patient and put the effort. Be strong. So what if your friends have it together and it takes you longer. Who gives a f? You’ve no idea what awful things might happen later in their lives. Everyone is on a different path. (P.s most women love a guy who is strong and capable and can fix or make things. We are attracted to more than just looks.)