Infidelity never makes a relationship/bond stronger. It tears down trust and love between two people. Learn to forgive your wife but leave her. You deserve someone who will help you, not run off with another guy when life turns to shit. If you take her with what she has done, then she will realize that there is no harm in having another affair in the future.

File for a divorce asap, before she will be deeming herself "dependent" on your income.

Sorry but your wife is the scum of the earth that disgusts me and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you find the healing needed through this tough time. You are not a loser, just a man who got a few bad cards recently. Be iron, have the fires of hell blow at you and hammers thrown at your bones, but you will still be iron.