Just like all physical violence in general, female sexual abuse often takes very different forms from male sexual abuse, and is often masked as medical care or bathing. The perpetrator's excuses (their supposed "motives") don't matter. All that matters is the outcome.

You were sexually assaulted for at least 14 years.

Sexual abuse often results in hypersexuality, feelings of repulsion or a combination of both. Feeling repulsed is a totally normal reaction. You know that what happened wasn't normal, and you're protecting yourself from what you're instinctively perceiving as danger. This kind of conditioning can be very difficult to break. It's very important to talk about it with your partner, you don't have to give graphic descriptions, but it's very important to talk about your feelings at least.