The mask will slip given the right time and conditions. Or you can hold it upright, maybe tape it together for who knows how long. Maybe until the end.

My mother was watching a documentary a short while back about people with bipolar disorder and commented something like "isn't it weird how all these really smart people end up with depression?" and I snap-responded something like "Not really, maybe it's because when you spend enough time giving it some thought you realise life is shit" to which she (after a slight gasp) said "you'd think with their brains they'd be able to see the brighter sides of life though..."

I didn't follow up with the obvious question (what in the fuck ARE these brighter sides, exactly?) since I realise I'd revealed far too fucking much by that point already. I prefer to keep this stuff on the "down low". Until then the closest we'd got to discussing it was her busting the door open and literally asking "Are you depressed?" around 4 years ago as I lay in darkness with the curtains drawn on a warm summer day. I think I said "No." and that was that end of it. Hahahahaha. I don't know whether she's just deluded (possible) or drunk (factual) but besides those two occasions she's never raised the issue in the 4 years since I've returned home from college (and never - ever - left the house for anything but work in all that time).

One thing about participating in these sorts of groups/discussions is you end up so accustomed to casual suicide chat it becomes easy to forget that most people you meet IRL would be horrified to hear these thoughts articulated. It is always worth keeping this in mind and avoiding the temptation to visibly treat life as the contemptuous joke we know it is. Regardless of how rational and sane some of us may be (IMO, dependent on circumstances, YMMV, etc.) in feeling that way, the world we inhabit is on the whole decidedly insane and polyannas don't take too kindly to having their views challenged.

You know that way glasses tend to weaken their hold around your head over time? You look down and they slip off your nose a little easier? The same can happen with the mask -- but likewise you can push it back up, and up again, and again, and if you know what's good for you you'd probably be best duct taping the fucking thing thrice around to be sure.

Scarce are the sympathetic. Count your blessings if you do find one amongst the mob, but always tread carefully.