The following is the story of the "Wedding from Hell"

First things first, the location. The bride was from Maryland, the groom was from New Jersey and basically the entire family still lived in these states. So where's the wedding? The tippy-top of Vermont. Why? Because the bride and groom really like this biker chapel they found there and by biker I mean mountain biker. Chapel in questions because why not?

This is an important piece of information because it means that literally everyone but the bride and groom had to travel several hours and get a hotel to be at this thing. So we're talking some major costs here.

Now to the fun part: the wedding.

Instead of the traditional service, the happy couple decided to do a "quaker wedding." Which means that everyone gathers together and speaks from the heart, telling stories about the couple.

Yep, you read that right, these guys thought it would be a great idea to get their family's together and say whatever came to mind. Which made for a pretty tense wedding for some of the guests. The groom's nieces were clearly watching their mothers like hawks, ready to pounce if an inappropriate story was shared.

Highlights, of the shared stories included:

• Brother of the bride threatening the groom's life if the groom hurt his sister

• The groom's friend sharing how the groom had dated "so many women that they'd thought that there was no one left in town for him to date"

• Sister of groom mentioning how "of all the many girls he's dated, the bride is the best"

Eventually the groom realized that this was a terrible idea and called a stop to the stories, the bride and groom exchanged vows they made up on the spot, and then we went to the reception.

Now, keep in mind we're in Vermont and it's the weekend. Meaning that there's nowhere to get food if something should happen like the caterer not bringing enough food for everyone to get some from the buffet line. Which is exactly what happened.

The finally people going through the line had nothing left to eat, so they cleaned out the dessert table. Well, most of the dessert table. They left the lovely, three-tiered cake untouched.

It was at this point that the bride and groom announced that they had arranged for their favorite ice cream to be brought to the wedding. A lovely thought, but did they think to call ahead and see if the reception hall had ice cream scoops? Nope.

And remember, we're in Vermont, we can't just run to the nearest walmart and get an ice cream scoop because there are no walmarts.

So the groom's youngest sister proceed to get a regular spoon and chip away at the rock hard ice cream (physically bending the spoon in half) while the mother of the bride starts to serve the cake. The first people to get cake are the grandchildren in attendance and the mother of the bride gave them all massive pieces from the top of the cake.

I was standing near the dessert duo at this time and I hear this amazing exchange:

Sister: Why don't you finish serving your grand-kids and then go socialize while I serve the rest of the cake?

Mother: What cake?

Yeah, the bottom two layers of the cake were cardboard and the mother of the groom gave the only bit of cake they had to the kids.