I think I needed to rant about this:
Oh believe me I talked to him a LOT about how I felt about it including telling him that it was messed up that he didn't even ask me how I felt about my own body before he decided to chime in with his opinion. I definitely was never one of the "Do I look fat in this?" types or anything like that.
Neither of us are overweight and he has never been overweight (I was 5 lbs overweight when we started dating, so I've never been huge or anything) but he got used to seeing me at my smaller size for two years so when I gained some weight back I think he felt like I was fat (even though I was fifteen pounds heavier than that when we first got together).
Also I think he somehow felt like he was healthier than I am even though based on our heights and weights I was still at a smaller BMI than he was, (pointed it out to him), I work a much more active job than he does (pointed that out) I walk more and I eat way healthier than he does for the most part (pointed all that out as well).
Really the conversations showed him that I was upset and he shouldn't say shit like that (and he hasn't since) but I don't feel like I ever got an honest explanation as to why he said it in the first place so obviously I just assume he thinks I'm fat at my weight and height and he claims that's not the case and neither of us get anywhere with that.
Even now although he doesn't critique my body at all anymore he will still try to give me exercise advice when he literally hasn't exercised in probably over a decade other than the times when he has to for work (it's occasionally part of his job).
Meanwhile I've been interested in exercise since 15 years ago and got into it in my mid-teen years ON MY OWN, subscribed to a fitness magazine and started working out all the time. A few years ago I even decided to walk a marathon just to see if I could, and went out there by myself and just listened to music while I walked for nine hours. That was in addition to picking up biking constantly instead of just walking everywhere, so I biked, walked, worked out and have worked an active job for the past 4 years. I'm literally on my feet lifting things for 6-8 hours a day.
Either way any changes I make are DEFINITELY for myself, especially because even though I lost 30 lbs and kept it off for 2 years I never felt like he was particularly more attracted to me at my smaller size anyway! So then it felt like a slap in the face to gain some back and suddenly have him complaining (especially because he had also gained some weight and I never said a damn thing about it) because it's like if it was making such a difference shouldn't you have been way more obvious about being more attracted when I was working hard to be more fit and slender? In my mind it's like why the hell would I work so hard to maintain my peak fitness / physique level if it was based on his attraction level when he never made me feel particularly more beautiful?
This is super petty, but I know a huge part of me not getting back on track for myself sooner was because I was pissed off at him and thought why the fuck should he get to have me at my best if he doesn't even appreciate it and he doesn't care about being in the best shape for me? It was like fuck him, if he wants to sit in front of his computer I'll do the same.
But at the end of the day all of those ragey feelings aside, I realize he wasn't actually trying to be hurtful and is just sort of a dumbass about this shit and doesn't realize how deeply comments like that can really hurt. The biggest things that pissed me off about it was that he obviously didn't care how I felt about my body, and he obviously doesn't care how I feel about his body either so why the hell did he expect me to change anything for him? He has kind of a more slim version of dadbod but he's definitely not as slim or as muscular as he used to be. I wouldn't even give a shit about him sitting on his ass or how his body has changed if he hadn't said anything about mine.
Either way all this shit is definitely for myself. I love how I feel when I work out, I like being strong as fuck and I made the plan to get super ripped without asking or caring whether or not he wants me to have legs that are super muscular. That's my goal right now.
Also for the record he tells me I'm beautiful constantly, I just have a hard time believing that he thinks that at all since my body really hasn't changed at all since he grabbed my tummy and pointed out that I've gained weight. That said, I felt beautiful for myself the entire time. Shit, I felt beautiful at my heaviest weight. I just like being really strong and I do feel more beautiful at a smaller / stronger size. But I'm so excited to see how my body changes with Strong Curves that I haven't even thought that much about whether or not he'll be more attracted or whatever.
I figure if I had ever let myself worry too much about other people's opinion on my body I never would have been able to separate that from my own opinion, and my opinion is what matters most. So it's just an added bonus if he ends up thinking I have a rocking body or whatever.