I realize that the OP was responding to what you asked, but honestly, there are some prevailing ideas out there among HL men about LL men that are way off the mark. Consequently, there are prevailing ideas out there among HL men about HL women that are erroneous. The very notion of LL men seems practically inconceivable (no pun intended) to many HL men who post here. The HL men who post here simply cannot comprehend the situation that HL women are in because they would move heaven and earth to be with an HL woman.

As for your question, I have no idea how to open the lines of communication with an LL man. I have tried and failed, many times. Nearly every time, every discussion results in some sort of backlash against me -- sometimes intentional (anger), sometimes unintentional (his further withdrawal or a hit to his self-esteem).

My SO -- whom I love with my whole heart -- is currently going through a very bad time emotionally, so there is nothing I would say to him now or for the immediate future about our very dead bedroom. When he is able to be less focused on his own pain, I will gently remind him that I cannot be his platonic girlfriend, that I must be his lover in ever sense of the word. In the past, that is the only thing that has led to any kind of progress toward the reintroduction of intimacy in our lives ... but not without some starting and stopping (withdrawing on his part, then moves toward intimacy, then withdrawing again). I would like to lead him to counseling, but that is also a very tricky subject with men (the whole competency thing).

There are many people here who advocate ultimatums: do this thing or I'm gone. I'm not one of them. So I plod along as best I can and try to get him to understand the extent to which this intimacy desert affects me, and I try to do so without blaming him, without making him feel worse than he already does.

It's such a shitty, tricky ride.