Not really looking for advice, but whatever.

Celibate for over a year, by choice because my partner ended up knocking up some other girl and broke things off me (we lived together) to be with her. I needed to get my head straight and my shit back together with no man.

I dated still, but extremely casual, and usually no second or third dates. I just wasn't feeling it or them.

Met a super cool guy at this social gathering we were at all night. Went out drinking afterwards that night (with everyone else too) and then found out we were in the same hotel, so we hung out all night at the hotel too. Since we were local to each other, we exchanged numbers and made plans to go out again once we got back to town.

We make plans for a date in a couple days, but he ends up cancelling them because of an accident in the family. We reschedule for the weekend. Then the day of the date, he cancels again - accident went from bad to worse, and the family was preparing for a funeral. We ended up meeting out anyway later that weekend, day before the funeral. I spent the night, we hooked up. It was great. Next morning, he says he's got family stuff to do, we'll meet up again by the weekend. Weekend rolls around, I go to where we'd meet, but he bails because he just wasn't in the mood to go out or have company. Understandable. I tell him good night and I go home.

I'm really digging this guy, he digs me, and really trying to be patient. I don't want to take advantage of him while he's feeling vulnerable, he doesn't want me to feel any sort of obligation for him, and I'm certainly in no rush for anything beyond seeing each other once or twice a week, and going out out once a week or bi-weekly or whatever (I'm still pretty busy and his work schedule conflicts with mine). I definitely don't have time to date more than one person either. I actually hate dating now and would rather just prefer to be like "hey, you're cool, I like you a lot, you like me a lot, we had sex with each other and we liked it. Wanna be my boyfriend?" And then get to know him through dating, but exclusively and monogamously. And it sounded like he was wanting the same thing. Part of his appeal is his honesty and straightforwardness, and I'm giving him the same courtesy.

But there's this voice in the back of my head that makes me worry that "okay, he finally got into your pants and is flaking on you now. You've been here before. You got used as emotional comfort sex."

I know I need to give him space and let him grieve, but I feel just as vulnerable as he does. I know it's the absurd worst timing to start a new relationship. I can't decide if I'm wasting my time being patient with him if nothing is going to come from it, or if I just need to move on and abort this mission. I really don't want to give up on him, but I don't know how long I can wait it out without looking foolish or naive.

Ugh.