2007: 2 roommates. 2 shit storms. Freshman year. I'm going to try to bullet point this as best as possible because it's just such a clusterfuck.
Roommate 1:
Took him to a party and he pregamed way too much. He was shitfaced.
He lost balance trying to shake a girl's hand (I was introducing him to my marching band friends) and more or less punched her in the right boob.
Later he lost his balance again on the balcony and almost fell over the railing. We were 4 floors up over a concrete parking lot. I luckily had grabbed his hoodie to keep him from falling completely over.
We left the party (to avoid any more mishaps) to go hang with our mutual friend at his dorm across campus. He ran into the street constantly and almost got hit by 3 cars. The 3rd was a cop. Luckily I some how assured the cop we were on our way home and there was no need to escalate things.
We get to our mutual friend's dorm and play Super Smash Brothers. He's passed out after 2 games. What a night out. Woo.
I try to wake him an hour later when I want to go back to our dorm. He won't move. He's not dead or unconscious. Just drunk and uncooperative. Mutual friend says the bed he's in is unoccupied for the night because his roommate had not arrived yet for some reason. Mkay. He can sleep it off here. It's safe with someone we know. Went back to my dorm alone.
Got back. Undressed. Went to sleep. Woke up to a HARD HAT TO THE FUCKING FACE. My roommate woke up around 5am in a strange dorm, still drunk, assumed I'd ditched him with evil malicious intent, stumbled across campus back to our dorm, got in, grabbed an orange hard hat (like construction workers wear) with the university logo from a bed post, and smacked me right in my sleeping face with it. Hard.
I got my nose to stop bleeding. He climbed into bed. I couldn't retaliate physically, as much as I wanted to, because he was still drunk and I was twice his size. I decide I'll just give him an earfull when he sobers up. Try to get some sleep.
AAAAAAAHHH! He screams right as I'm starting to doze off. He did that just to scare the fuck out of me. He was waiting until I was starting to doze and intentionally startling me to wake me up because he was still mad about me "ditching" him.
I slept in the lounge that night.
Eventually he finds a girlfriend. She's over all the time. Like every night. Her laundry's here. Suddenly our dorm that was tiny for 2 people was being shared by 3. Nope. Tried to get her out. Got a sob story from her about fighting with her actual roommate. Tried to talk to him about it, got bitched at and called jealous. I take all my shit, including the TV, and leave.
Roommate 2
Turns out our mutual friend's roommate never showed up. No idea why. But he had his own dorm for almost a whole semester. Pretty sweet. He was cool enough to understand my situation and let me move in unofficially. Stayed off the RA's radar for the last month of 1st semester. Got the paperwork in to register in that residence hall for 2nd.
Things were good. Not too much drunkenness. No physical violence. We even planned to live in a house together just off campus the next year so we could have more freedom. Awesome. His dad, who does construction, bought the house and wanted to do a bunch of projects and additions to it while we were living in it so he could flip it after his son graduates. Big plans in the making.
We finished out the 1st year, but during that 2nd semester, I noticed my roommate seemed to have a lot more free time than me. He was always playing video games and stuff when I'd get back from class or rehearsal. I hadn't declared a major yet, so my curriculum was all over the place. He'd declared political science and wasn't doing anything extracurricular, so I figured maybe he just got an easy semester scheduled, or maybe his work was easier because most classes were geared towards his major?
Nope.
Motherfucker wasn't even going to class. Just sitting inside like a lazy fuck-o playing games.
He failed out with a sub-1.0 GPA by the end of the year.
School ended in May. He told me mid-June.
His dad offered to still hang onto the house and let me live alone in it for a year. Told him he didn't have to do that, and I wouldn't be comfortable living off campus by myself in a house.
Scrambled for an on-campus apartment at the end of June. Paid WAY too much for rent, as all the good deals had their August leases signed in the Winter by students who had time to think ahead. Sophomore year was expensive.
I talk to neither of those guys anymore.