My mom is bad with technology. Really bad. About 10 years ago, she demanded I come over and “take a look” to figure out why her internet is so slow. Well, she’s using Internet Explorer. I recommended Firefox because everybody knows internet explorer is terrible. Well, she didn’t like that. Like I said, she doesn’t understand technology. “But I only pay $30 a month to use this internet,” she says. “Don’t download anything. I can’t afford to pay for anything else.” I tell her it’s free, but she insists, “everything’s always free in the beginning!”

So I tell her, ok, I’m going to defrag her internet to make it go faster. It’ll free up a ton of extra space, I say, but it could take a while. I tell her to go watch TV. As soon as she leaves, I download Firefox. I delete her Internet explorer shortcut, and change the settings on the Firefox shortcut to say “Internet Explorer” and have the e icon. She never uses her start button, she relies on shortcut icons, so I know she won’t figure it out. She was pretty excited with her “updated internet explorer” but I’m a little embarrassed that she keeps recommending her friends to “defrag their internet”.