Little bit of a novella, but I wanted to get this out:

A little over three years ago I was raped by my second cousin, let's call him C. I told my parents and a few very close friends, but I never attempted to press charges or tell many people because I have some major health issues and just really couldn't handle the stress, it was much easier for me to just the to forget and avoid him.

A few weeks ago it was my Great Aunt O's 95th birthday, and I was invited to the party, one of dozens of extended family members invited. I knew C was going to be there, and I'd only met the woman about three times in my entire life, so I politely declined and sent a nice card. Just over a fortnight later, Great Aunt O passed away peacefully in her sleep.

Yesterday was the funeral, I elected to attend the service but skip the wake, once again because of C's presence. Throughout the funeral C kept giving me creepy, predatorial looks, licking his lips, at one point he stood right behind me and I'm almost sure he sniffed my hair. He approached me at one point when I was talking with another relative, and I was forced to make polite conversation with my rapist, which is unimaginably disturbing if you haven't been forced to do it. By the end of the service I was shaking like a leaf, crying, on the verge of a major panic attack, and couldn't wait to get out. At this point, I was approached by C's mother, let's call her Cousin Q, a woman who I have briefly met maybe half a dozen times before.

Cousin Q was furious at me for skipping both the party and the wake, and not caring about Aunt O, once again a woman who was barely an acquaintance. She told me that I was a selfish, horrible person, and blamed me for Aunt O's death, saying that her heart probably gave out due to her being upset at my behaviour, and screamed at me to apologize, both to Aunt O's ghost, and to a few people I'd been "rude" to that day, including C. At this point I was barely staying on my feet and not up for any kind of argument or confrontation, so I forced out apologies, made my way home as quickly as possible and cried in the bath for several hours.

TL;DR: I skip a couple of very distant family events in order to avoid my rapist. His psycho mother confronts me at a funeral, blames me for a near-stranger's death, and forces me to apologize to aforementioned rapist, other strangers and a ghost.