Finding out who the hell I am and what I actually want.
I have had mental health issues for a long time, main thing being an eating disorder, which was diagnosed 11 years ago. I'm 32, so it has been playing a part in everything I have done in my adult life. I have never actually tried to get better or "rid of it", as if it was even possible. My recovery phases have consisted of simply gaining weight and pretending I am okay.
So, I have no idea what I actually want, what I'm good at, what makes me happy. I am not working towards recovery from the ED, kind of, just figuring out how to live my life and what goals I actually have. Like actually! Because I'm not ready to give up and think that only thing that makes me want to stay alive is doing these things I have been doing for more than a decade.