When I was about 10, I was confronted by some religious recruiter types who took me and a friend into a room and made us feel like utter pieces of heathen shit for having flesh and not recognizing what Jesus had done for us. They guilted us into verbally swearing our lives over to Jesus.

I just felt bad about myself after that mostly because it didn't really make sense but I was afraid if it was all true then I would burn in hell for having those thoughts and not "truly" believing. Then later in life, my brother got really religious and started telling me that I would never make it to heaven because I didn't do this thing or that thing in church and I started feeling bad again.

Then in my twenties, I had met religious people who were religious because their lives were out of control and they would do things not becoming of their religion but say afterwards that god would forgive them because church.

I just was so confused and so sick of feeling bad that I suspected that religion was just bullshit that I gave up on it. I just don't buy it, that's it. I cannot fool myself into thinking that there is a god.