I have two answers to this question.

My first answer is that in more practical terms you can adopt the recommendations of others in this thread, especially regarding practice, being mindful of the present, working on listening skills so that you're able to respond to people in a more authentic way / one that shows them, and above all being patient. I've only been free of marijuana / alcohol for a week now, but I do notice that in the absence of chemicals to reduce inhibitions and such, the #1 thing that helps (and also the most challenging thing for me at times - I'll get to that in a second) is being able to occupy social settings with an attitude of calm, kind indifference even when I'm not ready willing or able to say a single word to anyone.

Which segues into my next point: Something I catch myself thinking more all the time is, "who the hell said we all need to be talking all the time in the first place?" Not that I want to be anti-social to people but ... where does that expectation come from? I wonder sometimes if we're not rushing things or working too hard against our own natural tendencies because we feel that the way we relate to others is wrong, or not enough, or not strong enough, or not fast enough. A central concern for me in sobriety has been facing the world as it is, and that includes the way I share the world with others.

This is sort of abstract so I'll give an example. Last night I was at some event at a sound-and-light installation, a kind of listening space to hang out in. But ... I hardly felt like anyone was listening or just chilling out. Which is fine, right? But even lying back and, I guess, enjoying the main purpose of the vent, it was hard not to feel this tug of "what are you doing just lying here, don't you want to meet people, everyone can see you just being alone / getting up / stretching like a weirdo, etc." I can't speak to your priorities and maybe on a community farm there's an even stronger expectation of being verbal, reaching out and stuff. But at this point in my life I'm almost more interested in knowing where this junk comes from — this mental crud that says if I don't go out of my way to talk to people so often, or in such a way, then I matter less — than creating a mood I don't have and am not interested in having.

Some of it is fear of the unknown that I should get over, some of it is fear of rejection or awkward moments, sure. I should work on that. But also people just want to talk your ear off sometimes (like this one woman I was talking to who kept insisting, no matter how much I described my job sucking, that my job doesn't suck [what?]) and it doesn't take long before I'm like "ah, okay, now I remember why I prefer to keep to myself sometimes."

The point of this somewhat pessimistic journal entry is, in a nutshell: there are proven, time-tested techniques for going into social situations and getting the most out of them, but I always think it's worth asking what "the most" is, how we're defining it, and whether we can be okay with ourselves if we don't get it or aren't interested in seeking it on any given night. Or perhaps ever.