I'm still hanging on to the very last bits of memories with my ex-girlfriend.. and it is slowly killing me on the inside. On the outside, people see me as a very enthusiastic, charismatic and friendly guy with a wide array of interests and social circles. My social media accounts exudes nothing but me having lunch with different friends every day, driving fast cars, working out at the gym, traveling around the world and stuff like that.
In between and beneath all that, people don't see the version of FreakyFruit that is lying on his bed, scrolling through neatly-organized albums of pictures of us, and rummaging through a box of mementos. That box contained receipts from every time we went on a date night, movie tickets from movies that we watched together, parking permits/pamphlets/maps from all the places we went to while on vacation, her cosmetics, and a large amount of hair bands that I found around my bedroom after she left, and all miscellaneous stuff.
Although I've moved on, I still want her back. I found almost zero flaws in her. We were perfect. The only reason we broke up was because of the 13,000 mile distance between us. She graduated (she is 4 years older than me, but I was a sophomore) and had to return to the country where we both originally came from. She even overstayed past her student visa for several months just for us to be together for the last time before she was forced to return, as 1) her visa has expired and 2) she has a 10-year bonded contract with the company that sponsored her education in the US.
I had plans to stay here, so this obviously doesn't work out for our future. Fuck, we both wanted to live here in the US forever. It's been three years since we broke up, and she's been trying to move on and settle down with someone else who is much more ideal for the reality that she lives in. She doesn't know that I've recently enlisted into the US Army as means to procure citizenship, in the hopes that one day, I can sponsor her to come here to be with me and we can finally be together once again, living the American life we once had.
If we both end up with other people, well, so be it. But until I've exhausted all of my remaining options, I'm holding up my end of the deal. I've got plenty of life left in me. It's no big deal.