Well, here's my time to shine/thoroughly embarrass myself:
A pile of trash in an alley while I was in a suit. Had court earlier in the day, was woken up by the police. They were very kind and called me a cab and waited with me. The (kinda cute) woman officer was even nice enough to chuckle at my slurred bad jokes
Hugging the front tire of my car in the street (that was right down the street from a Catholic high school). Neighbor woke me up before the kids showed up.
In an unfamiliar bed next to an obese woman who I'd pissed all over while passed out after sex. I was confused, she was quite perturbed.
My friend's front porch in the winter. His wife was displeased and somewhat concerned for my health. Bonus waking up with semi-frozen piss in my pants.
A McDonald's parking lot in GA, shirtless, covered in blood, and a couple police officers asking just what I'd gotten myself into (apparently I got into some sort of physical altercation). I was so drunk, I couldn't remember the address or name of the hotel where I was living. One officer called my brother-in-law in OH who somehow knew my address. The officer was awesome about it and gave me a ride to my hotel.
In some bushes, shirtless again plus no phone or wallet, in the Over-the-Rhine neighborhood of Cincinnati in ~38° weather. I promptly was arrested for getting a GPS out of an unlocked car so I could get directions to the shithole where I was living. Turns out I'd been released like an hour earlier from the station after getting a DUI in my parking lot. Rough night.
A neighbor's car's backseat. I'd somehow locked my keys in my car, his was unlocked, so I guess I felt that'd be a cool place to nap. He disagreed, but just yelled at me instead of beating the shit outta me (which I would have entirely deserved). Fucking lucky I didn't get shot or something.
Jail in a different state. That sucked. I was so thirsty and had a strange craving for mandarin oranges. Lo and behold, mandarin oranges were on the "breakfast" tray. Perhaps it was meant to be.
I don't drink anymore. If any other spots occur to me, I'll add an edit.