I had chest reconstruction surgery to repair pectus excavatum, I had two metal bars implanted for five years. But that's not the most painful bit.

After surgery this year to have them removed, I had a side effect from the anesthesia that meant your prostate enlarged. Meaning, after surgery I could not pee. And I had a nurse telling me to drink water drink water drink water of they'd have to give me a catheter (This was just a threat, they didn't want to give me a catheter as this means you have to stay in hospital longer, and they needed beds)

So the morning after my surgery, I down my morning coffee and a few glasses of water, 30mins later I need to pee.

I need to pee really bad.

I go to the toilet, and nothing comes out, so I went into the showers they have to try and help me pee... nothing happens.

I felt like I was about to have a baby, the pain was starting to get bad now. I go and find a nurse/doctor.. but it was 12:30 and they were all on lunch. I finally find one and they go to get an ultrasound scanner to check if i really need to pee or if something else is happening to me. I'm in a lot of pain now, walking back and forth. She scans my belly, I'm moaning in pain now. She says "wow your bladder is 100% full". I'm thinking no fucking shit and begging her to insert a catheter. Finally a doctor comes back from lunch and says he will insert one if I don't pee before he has finished my rounds. Fuck I think. Fuck Fuck Fuck.

I hobble to the toilet and think about my university anatomy classes, how can I free up my prostate? My mind goes blank, then I remember asians shit in the squatting position which is supposedly better for the flow.So I sit on the toilet, bend down so my head is below the toilet seat and holy shit I pee about 100ml. The pain is gone, that was the best, most relieving feeling I have ever experienced.