My dad pretended to be interested in my kids in order to ask me if I would attend his third wedding, to the woman he cheated on with and left my mother for. That's a common thing with him. They're my step kids and he often acts like they're not real, refusing to remember their names, saying he will send them birthday gifts and not following through, etc. He only ever contacts me when he wants something. Usually he wants to brag about how great his life with his new girlfriend and her kids are, sometimes he wants to shit talk my mother or ask me to keep a secret from her for him (a position I've repeatedly asked him not to put me in).
This time he pretended like he was going to buy the kids Christmas gifts and texted me to ask what they would like. As soon as I replied he responded with "Can I ask you something and you promise you won't tell your mother?" I told him no and reminded him I have asked him not to put me in that position. He sent some snarky bullshit back and then said "I just wanted to know if you would attend my wedding to THIRD WIFE". I replied "No, we will not be attending, thank you." He demanded to know why, I said I didn't want to discuss it, and reminded him again that I've asked him not to put me in the position of hiding things for him from my mother. He replied with "I'm sorry you're not able to be a part of my life."
So I took him at his word and stopped contacting him.
Not long after that my brother called me in a panic because my father had fucked up several things. Aside from driving intoxicated and getting into his sixth accident in as many years, he was also retiring early to get out of having to make good on his divorce agreement with my mom (regarding repairs and payments for the shared house), forcing my mother to sell the house and move in with her boyfriend (something she didn't want to do so soon) and also, forcing my brother who is in his last semester of grad school and already working full time, to have to find a new place to live. On top of this my father has been running drugs across the country on the side (to support his lavish lifetsyle while retiring early) which is how he ended up in the hospital (don't get high and drive a motorcycle across the country). He was now trying to convince my brother (who is facing homelessness while in school and desperate for money) that he can make $10k by completing my dad's drug run for him while he is hospitalized. At that point I LOST IT. I had planned on sending birthday and holiday cards and being polite but low contact, but this was the end of my rope. I stayed up all night on the phone with my brother convincing him not to take a chance, reminding him that there's a real possibility my dad is lying about the money, and even if he isn't getting caught will cost him his education and promising career.
You see, my brother struggled a lot as a kid, fell in with the wrong crowd and built up a record. He worked very hard to have his record expunged, go to college and is now in the final stretch of grad school. He wants to teach High School English. Something a felony record would forever prevent him from doing. The fact that my father tried to bribe him with money to throw his future away was the last straw. I was able to calm my brother down, he agreed it was an awful position for a father to put a child in and that it showed how selfish my dad really is. I offered to help him with moving expenses or a deposit when he finds a place to live (I live 1,400 miles away or I would help out more) and everything seems okay with him now.
As for my father, I do not speak to that man at all now and have no intentions on ever doing so again. That's how I'm dealing with it.