3. What's your greatest regret in life?

What's your greatest regret in life?

I was a latch-key older sister to a rebellious younger brother. My mother is a functional(ish) alcoholic and my dad moved "for work" and never really came back again (he visited monthly for a while, then slowly backed off and filed for divorce over the course of a decade).

My parents basically expected me to make sure my brother got off the buss, did his homework, had dinner, went to bed, slept and got up for the bus in the morning every day for the most part. My mother would tease me by calling me "mom" and basically I was treated, and felt like, the only adult in the house.

My brother and I are 4 and 1/2 years apart and in high school I started to resent having to "play mommy" all the time. So, I stopped and just let my brother do whatever he wanted. It was better than fighting with him, or taking the heat for him whenever I had to turn him into my parents only to be told "well why didn't you stop him?" Not to mention, he got bigger and stronger than me fast, and knocked me out once while I was trying to shut down a toga party he threw in the 10th grade.

Anyway... I basically decided "screw this" and left him to his own devices. I graduated in the top 10% of my class, got an academic scholarship, graduated and moved the hell out of my house, never to look back.

My brother floundered, nearly dropped out of high school, started doing drugs (hard drugs, like cocaine at 15), got kicked off his sports teams and eventually flunked out of community college (if you fail enough, they force you to take a year off before letting you back). He then got arrested, went into a downward spiral of depression and ended up living in my mother's basement as a pizza delivery guy. He's depressed, about 100lbs overweight, and a serious binge drinker.

About four years ago he got his shit together (mostly), got his undergrad degree and is now going to graduate school (online). But he's got a deep, deep hole to climb out of, is incredibly depressed and stressed and is now stuck living with my alcoholic mother (who is becoming more and more unstable by the day).

I got married and moved far, far away from my family. I still talk to my brother as much as I can but I feel intensely guilty for letting him down like I did. He'll be okay, but he could have been better sooner if I hadn't been a selfish little shit as a teen.

So, TL;DR my biggest regret is abandoning my little brother even though I saw he was headed down a real bad road.

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