When Will My Brain Unscramble?

Been feeling the same way, although "dulling my thinking" was probably the reason why I smoke so much in the first place given I have crazy racing thoughts while sober. Sounds like you and I are not going through the exact same thing, but you are not alone in going through some shit. Other day I pulled over while driving just because I felt like I might be disassociating while driving and it didn't feel safe.

I'd like to not even quit long term, just trying to take a sustained break and hopefully resume moderate usage if that's even possible, but after going through a period of my life where I basically smoked non-stop, it's been pretty tough.

Don't worry about feeling angry. In fact I think that anger might be positive. Any type of creative act is so frustrating. You constantly run into problems and no matter what you're trying to make it's never good enough. Watch the Ira Glass talk on Story Telling for more on this. So get angry about not being able to find the right words, not being able to play a song right, not being able to build something that works, instead of being angry about whatever's bothering you in your life. All those negative emotions exist for a reason and they can be a gift if you channel them right, or a curse if you let them drive you off a cliff instead. Easier said than done but that's just my take on it.


" It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this."

/r/leaves Thread