This can be really tough and it's definitely not an exact science. I work a really consistent 9-5 job with a super dependable schedule, but my wife works in the hospitality industry and her hours are less predictable. There are weeks when we can go days barely seeing each other as I leave in the morning before she gets up, she comes home when I'm already asleep, and so on. It used to really get to me because there were times when she was prioritizing work over me/us pretty heavily. We'd have a date planned and she'd randomly get called in to cover a shift so she'd cancel our plans, or she'd decide to stay 4 hours late to help with something and I would be up waiting for her only to have her never show, or she'd be so tired from working that the rare time we had to spend together she'd be constantly nodding off. Making vacation plans was an extreme struggle, and we could never know whether she'd be around for holidays until the very last minute. It finally came to a point where I just plain wasn't happy anymore, and that felt so terrible, to be so young and recently married and to feel like my relationship was failing. I had to have a serious conversation with her about it where I was very honest about how I was feeling. It's a hard line to walk between wanting to support her as she pursues her dream career, and wanting to have a wife that has time for me. We had to agree on some compromises. First of all, if we have plans then we have plans. Her job is great but for all the love she gives it, it's never going to love her back. I'm her wife and when she makes a commitment to me, it should mean just as much (if not more) than the commitment she makes to her job. If she says she isn't available to cover a shift, the company isn't going to burn to the ground: they will make due. Next was working towards some sort of consistency in her schedule. Now she had a sort of base schedule that is semi-consistent with occasional changes when necessary. And finally, it was just about making use of the time we did have together and being sure to actually be present with each other on those days. Work is great, it's important and fulfilling, but at the end of the day you have to prioritize the things that are most important to you and if work keeps coming up first that's going to take a toll on the other aspects of your life.