OP, I could be wrong but I think there may have been a misunderstanding here. I interpreted the other poster's words as not losing the ability to be vulnerable with other people who are safe to do so with. Not your family or anyone else in their fog because that very clearly does not work with toxic and abusive families.

You're right about not invalidating the feelings of others, but opinions can be different and that's okay. Sometimes people try to relate with a similar experience and sometimes that does not relate but it might not be malicious just misguided. That can be harmful too and boundaries are always important. You can also report comments instead of engaging because the rules also state not to personally attack others.

The way I read your post comes across not as being a show to me, but to show people that you're the opposite of what your mother says about you so that of they are in the fog that they'll start to have doubts. Maybe it helps others start to realize they're in the fog too. I've know it took me a very long time to realize that my family's behavior was not normal because it had been something I dealt with my whole life. Narc's are great at normalizing their behavior to you. Like you said you can be genuinely nice and Street smart to survive and I completely agree with that.

I definitely try to live and treat others well in spite of what they tell my family, and your post resonates with me. I'm sorry you had to deal with this.