Okay, but from what I read around here there's a lot of talk about being different from the members of the adoptive family and and not fitting in, but isn't that the thing with most people, most teenagers especially? Not fitting in shouldn't have anything to do with being adopted or not, we didn't choose our families either.

I am against those unnecessary adoptions and adoption agencies of course. In my country more than 80% of children put up for adoption are Romani or children with disabilities and I believe that it would really be good if they were adopted.

And then you read about all these issues and it seems like people with good adoption experiences just don't write in those forums and the ones who are unhappy do. It also seems like they are looking for something to blame (like, the fact that they were separated at birth from their mothers is the cause of all their problems), but maybe they just have other types of issues that can be worked on and solved and they think it's all because their mother left them. It's just weird that something so simple would have such an impact on the whole life of adoptees.

I have nothing against reaching out to biological families and hanging out with them, but the whole thing with belonging and looking alike makes no sense to me. Who needs that to feel secure and to have self esteem? But then again, some women need make up to feel that, so. Some adoptees seem to idealize their biological relatives and when reading their posts, yes it does seem like they have extremely low self confidence and are idealizing and obsessing. A lot of them are not even happy they were adopted. I can just research further and hope to come to a conclusion that this is not the case with the majority of adoptions.

Thanks for your reply!