"Great," I said aloud. "Take charge of the Holy Law Firm they said, it'll be nice they said." Michael and Raphael were always the bullies, looking down on the rest of us. Dad said this, and dad said that. Well, news flash guys: Dad hasn't been home since, I don't know, the creation of man! However, being the oldest those two obviously new what was best.
I stepped through the door to my firm, a tall continental building, in the business district.
Wait!
So, this is the time I should probably explain, heaven isn't what you thought it was. Rather than being a bunch of clouds, beautiful women with wings playing harps, and men without their genitals flying around. Heaven is more, how do you say, industrial? Remember that movie from the early 2000's? The Matrix, or whatever. Yeah, it's a lot like that, except you don't take a blue pill to just magically go back to Earth. No, you're kind of stuck here. Every angel has a role to fill, jobs I think the humans call it. My name is Gabriel, you might remember from, I don't know, church? If you don't, well good for you. You never swallowed any of that swill that they tried shoving down your throat. Well as you can already tell, I'm in charge of the lawyers, I thought this was heaven? Now back to our regularly scheduled program!
"Good morning Vanessa!" I said to my secretary. A sweet blonde girl, who'd yet to earn her wings. I believed in her though, she deserved them! "Any good news today?"
"Well, do you remember that guy Ned who had his entire family killed?"
"You mean the really noble and honest one who got his head chopped off? Yeah I remember him."
"Well, since he's now an Angel-"Oh yeah, so humans don't really come to this part of heaven. Usually everyone has their own little slice of heaven, but they can apply to become Angels, and if they're accepted they're given a job in the city and a home. It's kind of like life after life, afterlife, that's what we should call it! "-we've been talking, and the other day he asked me out to dinner! We're going to Da Vinci's tonight!"
"That's awesome!" I sat on her desk and leaned in for what felt like, a very awkward hug. I leaned back, still looking at her adjusting my coat. "You know, I still find it hard to believe that Earth's greatest inventor had a passion for the culinary arts? It's just wonderful to see a man of so many talents."
She giggled at me, "If you want to see a man of many talents, you could just look in the mirror." I blushed at her response, she obviously new of my attraction towards her. Then again, every Angel was attracted to her, that ass was a very powerful magnet.
"You flatter me, I'll be in my office if anyone needs me." I walked down my private hall, and into my office. My desk decorated of photos of me in another life, when I paraded around as Loki, The Trickster, and even pictures of me with Tom Hiddleston after he portrayed me in that crappy Marvel movie. No, not The Avengers, the other one. The one with that guy that all the girls love, it was a total shit show, but women everywhere loved it.
I looked out the window in the back of the office to see the skyline of the city. To my left, was a bookshelf filled with fiction that I must admit to never reading. To my right, de-motivational posters, because I do rather enjoy my comedy; as I make ever so apparent. I turned around and sat at my desk, I opened the files from current cases on my computer. Mostly simple cases, you see when you die you don't just get to heaven. First you come here, we review your case, and if there is a case; we give you a trial. Usually if you've made this far in the process, you're pretty much set. However, in very rare cases you've done something so wrong, we send you to Hell to suffer for all eternity. I mean really, if you met my brother, you'd know why it's suffering. He plays that damned I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt song. Then once every thousand years or so, he gets bored and changes it to Never Gonna' Give You Up. Yes, it is the true definition of suffering. Speaking of which!
"Uhm, Mr. Gabriel..." Vanessa said over the intercom to my office. Her voice was timid, as if she was nervous. Was she finally going to confess her true feelings for me? Would I finally get to fulfill my wildest fantasy and nail that ass to my wall?!
"Vanessa, honey," I said back to her. "It's been 50 years you've worked for me, please call me Gabe."
"Okay, Gabe-" Her voice still timid, I could almost feel her shaking, nervous of what my response would be. "-there's a client here to see you." And in that moment, my dreams were crushed.
"Well I am rather busy right now," I said with a stern voice. "Send him to someone else." How important could this be? Why was she nervous?
"Sir, Gabe. He's rather persistent, and something tells me you're going to want to take this."
"Send him in." I realized after I said it that my voice was cold. She probably thinks I'm a jerk now. This client better have a worth while case.
The door knob to my office turned, and the door began to creep open silently. An ominous feeling came over me, then I saw him. Tall, dark, and if he wasn't my brother, I would dare to say handsome. Short hair brown hair, a neatly trimmed scruff. He was dressed in a black fitted suit, black tie, and glossy black shoes to match.
"Brother, don't act so happy to see me." His voice was menacing, but that's how his tone always was. Dry, and horse. Quiet, and monotone. He smiled at me, and in the smile you could see so much.
"Lucifer, or do they call you Satan now? I can't keep up with the times brother." I stood up, walked towards him. We stood face to face, I was only a couple inches taller, but he was my bigger brother.
"And what do they call you, Trickster? You spent as much time running from this place as I did. The only difference is you went crying back saying 'let me in, please let me in!"
"And you ran crying, yelling 'daddy doesn't love me!' Well boo hoo hoo." We stared in each other's eyes, his were black and emotionless. We embraced one another. "It's been too long brother! What brings you home?"
"Well I'm here to see you, it's business Gabe. I'm suing father."
"Are you retarded? No, you're actually a ginger right? Red headed stepchild and what not?" I looked at him as if he had six heads. "You know you can't just sue dad!" I raised my voice in anger at him, and he laughed at me.
"Well it's better than my methods in the past."
"Oh yeah, waging war on your homeland, trying to star the apocalypse, killing innocent people. For what? Why do you do all of this? Because you want to be god? You want Daddy's job, to run the family business?"
"I don't want to be god, I just don't think we should love these humans. They're so flawed with emotion."
"And so are we. Or are you too blind to recognize when emotion clouds your judgement?" Anger filled me in this moment. Was my own brother actually this arrogant? "I respectively decline your case brother."
"What do you mean?" He looked rather confused.
"I refuse to take your case." I said firmly. I was standing up to my older brother, I was proud of myself.
"I'm not asking you to take my case. Has no one told you?"
"Told me what?"
"You're defending heaven." Those words. They hurt as if I had just slammed my finger in the door, that kind of pain that just never goes away.
"Who'd you get to represent you? Was it smith on the 23rd floor?"
"Brother, I'm the king of hell, ever wonder why heaven has its own law school? When lawyers die, they come straight to Big Poppa."
"Really? What's with you and 90's music? Were you the one that killed Kurt Cobain? Just so you can have him for your own personal entertainment?"
"I plead the fifth." We both laughed, the tension was lightened.
"Ahhh, it's still funny that we pinned that on Dave Grohl when he died. He was going to hell one way or another."
"Well brother, I just wanted to say good luck. It was nice to see you, and win or lose, please stop by anytime. I miss your company." He smiled, and in that smile I could feel the comfort of family. Lucifer was my closest brother, and he always looked out for me when Michael would come trying to bully me. Being the oldest, everyone feared Lucifer. Funny part is, the one that rebelled was daddy's favorite. Even when dad loved humans more than us, and told us to love humans more than him, you could tell he loved Lucifer most. Heartbroken to see him fall from grace, and become the king of hell. Worst of all, was when he raised an army and rebelled. Seeing his favorite son filled with that much anger, attempting to rebel and kill him. That's what caused him to leave, why he turned his back on all of us. "Oh, I almost forgot, the trial is in one week brother. I'll see you then!"
"See you then," I said as he shut the door. I took a seat at the chair behind my desk. "Clear all my appointments this week, Vanessa dear."
"Yes, sir," she said over the intercom. This was going to be a long week.
To be continued...