Yeap. I'm out :)

You keep fixating on the oral. It's not about that. The big question is do you have enthusiasm, do you crave being intimate with your husband. Do you want him, do you need him physically, do you feel compelled to touch him, hug him, kiss him, feel his skin pressed against yours. Does the smell of his body drive you wild with excitement. Does your heart race when he is next to you on the bed. Those are the important things. The BJ is just a detail.

Keep your eye on the important things. If your desire is lacking, nothing you do to pleasure him will be any good. You have to go straight to the root cause and fix that, everything else will fall in place. Desire. Transmute low desire into high desire. Change your mind. Stop thinking about the partner you've known forever who will always be with you no matter what, who you know best of anyone, and who you've shared your entire life with. Start thinking about how precious and fleeting life is, how soon it will be all over, how any little incident or occurrence can take him away from you forever, how Life, Destiny or however you wanna call her can deprive you of your chance to be with him at a snap of her fingers. Think about Father Time - he will take away your youth, your vigour, your health, little by little every single day. When you lay on your dying bed one day and look back on your life, what will you see? Will it be a full life or an empty life? A life of shared love and pleasure, or a life of cold, fear and regret?

Do you live life to the fullest or do you pass the time idly? Do you take your current circumstances for granted, or do you remember they can be pulled from underneath your feet like a rug any second of the day? Life is a precious gift, it is meant to be experienced and enjoyed in full, and sex with the person you love can be the highest form of honoring Life. In my view, it is a sin to place watching a TV show above that, washing the dishes above that, splurging on the sofa above that.

I know I am preaching and maybe reading this is not pleasurable. Those are just part of my spiritual beliefs, but I don't think you necessarily have to share them to appreciate what I am saying. Are you a spiritual or a religious person? What do the great spiritual teachers you follow say about a wasted life? Does your religion require from you any responsibility to create a full, meaningful and complete life for yourself and those you love?

/r/DeadBedrooms Thread Parent